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Offline MahluaandMilk

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Ecchiverse: Reset (Chapter 19)
« Reply #90 on: November 29, 2018, 01:36:52 PM »
Aha! Finally. It's been a little over a week since the last chapter, but I seem to be back on the ball now, sort of. If all goes really, really well, I'd like to also start chapter 20 today, and if a miracle happens, we might have that tonight as well. But again, we're talking miracles at that point. :angel:

Chapter 19
And slowly we see plot progressing
And "plot" progressing
The next morning, the sound of voices outside her door tickled Mahlua’s senses into wakefulness. She felt an ear twitch and jolted upright. Her hand flew to the area of the twitch to confirm the odd feeling and met with short, fluffy fur. Over the course of the night, she must have grown the new hedgehog-y appendages. A long stretch alerted her to the short tail that completed the set. Outside, the High Priestess’s voice came clear.

“All right, Salem, all right. Since you’re so eager, I’ll check if she’s awake.”

“Thanks, Juniper,” Salem’s voice replied. There was a hint of flirtation in her tone.

A gentle knock tapped on the door to the guest room, followed by the High Priestess rolling the door to the side. Mahlua flinched and felt the shaved part of her hair prickle upward.

“Good morning,” the High Priestess nodded. She smiled with a motherly warmth. “It looks like you’ve already started to take after your parent.”

Confused, Mahlua got up for another stretch. “Uh, thanks?”

“Juniper,” Salem whined, drawing out the name.

The High Priestess chuckled. “Yes, yes. We’ll be out in a moment,” she called back, and then, where only she and Mahlua could hear, she whispered “That girl can be so impatient.”

“Did you tell her the result, or is she impatient for other reasons?” Mahlua asked.

“I did not. It is for you to do. Please put on the robe so you can introduce yourself,” the High Priestess gestured to the folded cloth beside the bed. Mahlua nodded and obeyed.

Once Mahlua donned the hood, the High Priestess led her into the main living area where Salem and Feta were waiting. “Oh, and there is tea. I’m sure you will appreciate it,” the High Priestess added before she moved the door. Once she mentioned it, Mahlua’s throat did feel dry and raw.

Like she saw Feta do before her, Mahlua lowered her hood after she stepped into the room. “Child of the hedgehog,” the High Priestess said, folding her arms into her robes, “Tell us the name your parent has given you.”

A whisper warmed the air by one of Mahlua’s large ears. She smiled at its familiar small, nasal tone.

“My new name is Spike,” Mahlua replied.

“Welcome home, Spike,” everyone said. A glint sparkled in Salem’s eye as she stood up. Mahlua braced herself for the inevitable pounce. Sure enough, Salem rushed her and threw her arms around her, knocking her to the ground.

“You’re so cute! I’ve never seen a harinezumimi before,” Salem purred, nuzzling her head into Mahlua’s chest.

“At some point, we’re going to have to teach you some manners, Salem” the High Priestess chuckled.

---

By midday, preparations were under way for Feta to return to the village and for Mahlua to continue her journey. Feta agreed to carry news of Salem’s new position to the town, while Mahlua would travel up the mountain even further to find the way to the next level. Since Mahlua would be leaving the plane soon, she needed fewer supplies, and therefore could leave sooner.

Mahlua adjusted the straps on her hip harness for her weapon sheathes and backpack. As she turned around, Salem caught her arm.

“I hope we get to see each other again,” Salem said. “I’ll get you for sure, then.”

A hot chill skittered sweat down Mahlua’s back. “You’re really set on that, aren’t you?” she asked. Her face softened. “I’m not sure if we will, but, then again, I’ve not been sure of much of anything since I stepped inside this crazy tower. At this point, I don’t know if anything would surprise me.” She started to turn, but Salem’s grip turned her back.

Mahlua didn’t have time to process the pair of lips that caught hers. Salem shifted and wrapped her arms around Mahlua’s neck, then pressed in for another, longer kiss. This time, Mahlua didn’t fight. She rested her hands on Salem’s hips and drew them to meet hers. Two kisses rolled into three, and then, just before she pulled away, Salem slithered her tongue between her teeth. Mahlua leaned forward for more, but Salem put up a hand between them.

“If we keep going, I don’t think you’ll be leaving today,” Salem pointed out. Her tail flicked at an agitated pace. Mahlua’s cotton-headed feeling made it both easier and harder to agree.

“Well, whose fault would that be?” the High Priestess interjected.

Mahlua flinched and released Salem’s hips. She still wasn’t used to how her hair prickled when she was surprised.

“When did you get there?” Salem asked.

“Long enough ago,” the High Priestess said with a dismissive wave of the hand. “I knew you’d pull something like this. But, we’ll have plenty of time to deal with your frustrations later. For now, let’s bid our new friend farewell.”

A spark shifted the air. Something about how Salem’s posture changed tipped Mahlua off. She coughed to dismiss the flood of mental images of the two priestesses and whatever power dynamic they probably had.

“Thank you for your hospitality. I’ll be sure to use this new knowledge well,” Mahlua said.

“May it guide you well,” the High Priestess replied. She made a gesture with her hand and Salem joined her at her side.

Mahlua waved, and then turned to head up the path outlined for her. She wished she could have Feta along with her to ask if what she picked up on was normal among kemonomimi priesthoods, or if she had just been imagining things.

---

As the High Priestess had said, the path was not difficult to follow, and as the forest engulfed her, the raider noticed a shift. Day quickly turned to night around her, and lights emerged from the distance. Mahlua hiked closer, and the woods grew thinner. The bright lights were streetlights, it turned out, and the path she followed led to an old bus stop littered with graffiti writers’ names in an array of colors and styles. She took a seat on the old wooden bench to rest, and waited.
"It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure."--Marquis de Sade
But yes hello I am the freakier freak than you.

Offline rubixmaestro

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Re: Ecchiverse: Reset
« Reply #91 on: December 01, 2018, 02:12:08 PM »
Review for Chap 18

Spoiler
1. Night had fallen, casting indigo shadows to obscure the dirt path and animal charms that hung, swaying in the chilled night breeze. The water wheel clattered at its trance-like pace, churning a thin mist that made either bank of the mountain river fuzzy. Amidst the foggy glow, a lantern shone by the door of a smaller building surrounded by stone pillars, which had a quartz vein running through them, showing their relation. Under the guiding lantern, the High Priestess stood, arms still folded into her robes. She nodded and ducked inside as Mahlua approached. Mahlua hesitated at the door and pressed her lips together, and then stepped inside.

- Nice descriptions. Nice opening scene.

2. The High Priestess smiled. “Yes. And if others approach, it is because they have some meaning to your life, whether or not you understand why at first. Remember, every animal has its place, and none are insignificant.”
. Mysterious like. I wonder what your inspiration for the ritual is.

3. “It’s starting now. Close your eyes and let come what will.”
- Begin power up training. I like seeing such scenes in manga especcially. My favourite ones are from Bleach.

4. It was like sleeping at first, until suddenly a terrible scream ripped through her vocal cords. All around her, nothing but bones.
-Yikes

5.“Not yet, else I would be your mother,” the lioness said. Her tail flicked against the sand. “But, the makings, yes. Let go of fear. Let your anger be righteous. Let your self-loathing burn away with pride.”
- Cool lines. Cinematic

6.“Harinezumimi?” Mahlua asked, cocking her head to the side. The word was too foreign, even for her weeaboo ears.
- rolls off the tongue somehow. Unique animal for sure.

- Good chapter here. Love the descriptions. Solid writing and great emotional weight. Good stuff! And dat wordcount just keeps on getting larger and larger. Coolbeans.


Review for Chapter 19
Spoiler
1.  Over the course of the night, she must have grown the new hedgehog-y appendages.
- Mahlua got a kawaii upgrade I see.

2. “My new name is Spike,” Mahlua replied.
- Cool name

3. “At some point, we’re going to have to teach you some manners, Salem” the High Priestess chuckled.
- Nein. Let nekomimi be nekomimi and harenezumimi be harenezumimi (im pretty sure i mispelt that)

4. “I hope we get to see each other again,” Salem said. “I’ll get you for sure, then.”
- Drumroll

5. Mahlua didn’t have time to process the pair of lips that caught hers. Salem shifted and wrapped her arms around Mahlua’s neck, then pressed in for another, longer kiss. This time, Mahlua didn’t fight. She rested her hands on Salem’s hips and drew them to meet hers. Two kisses rolled into three, and then, just before she pulled away, Salem slithered her tongue between her teeth. Mahlua leaned forward for more, but Salem put up a hand between them.
- *wolf whistles*

6. “Long enough ago,” the High Priestess said with a dismissive wave of the hand. “I knew you’d pull something like this. But, we’ll have plenty of time to deal with your frustrations later. For now, let’s bid our new friend farewell.”
- Spoilsport.

7. As the High Priestess had said, the path was not difficult to follow, and as the forest engulfed her, the raider noticed a shift. Day quickly turned to night around her, and lights emerged from the distance. Mahlua hiked closer, and the woods grew thinner. The bright lights were streetlights, it turned out, and the path she followed led to an old bus stop littered with graffiti writers’ names in an array of colors and styles. She took a seat on the old wooden bench to rest, and waited.

- Grafitti makes the world go round
- Dope stuff. Love the transition. I can imagine how cool it'd be in animated feature or so.
- Your output is off the chain. Cool stuff!
real life has sexy graphics

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Ecchiverse: Reset
« Reply #92 on: December 01, 2018, 02:16:10 PM »
I'm glad you've enjoyed it. And now I just need to get to work on the chapter I've been anticipating for a long time. Someone's been lurking in the shadows reading and not commenting, but according to that person, I need to ramp up the ecchi, and I told them, "just wait...level four is going to be wild, and level five is going to top even that".
"It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure."--Marquis de Sade
But yes hello I am the freakier freak than you.

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Ecchiverse: Reset (Chapter 20)
« Reply #93 on: December 02, 2018, 11:55:41 PM »
Haha! Uploaded just before midnight. Now there has been a post a day for at least the first two days of December. Let's see if I can keep that up.

Chapter 20:
A Whole New World
A bite of cold cut through the bus stop in the night breeze. Mahlua tucked her hands between her legs for warmth as she looked down the road. She wondered if a bus would even come by this late, or if this route was even still active. She’d give it fifteen more minutes, she figured. Not that she knew what she’d do after that fifteen minutes was up. Figure out what to do, probably. To her favor, a few minutes later, headlights lit up around the curve of the woods and a bus hissed into view. It squeaked to a halt at the stop and the doors open.

“Out on a night hike?” the bus driver asked. He was a big man with long, fluffy blonde hair and cool grey eyes. “Looks like it brought somethin outta ya. Might wanna put your defenses back up before you go to the city.”

Mahlua rubbed the back of her neck. “Sorry,” she said, giving the best awkward smile she could muster. “I’m not really from here, so…what do you mean by ‘defenses’?”

The bus driver blinked a few times as he processed the information. He sighed and gestured to the seat behind him. The rest of the bus was empty. Mahlua sat where he pointed and he started up the metal beast again.

“Monsters and humans live together in harmony in the city, but, only because certain laws are in place. It looks like you’re a kemonomimi, which means you just came from that place. Makes sense that you’re not familiar…” He trailed off and popped his neck, shifting his head between his broad shoulders. “Anyway, one of ‘em is to appear as human as possible. There are other ones about magic and hunting, but I don’t think you’ll need those.”

Mahlua shrugged. “I might actually need to know the ones about magic,” she admitted, “But how to I appear more human, exactly?”

“Well,” the bus driver said, keeping one hand on the wheel as he rubbed the back of his neck, “If you’re familiar with magic, you know about visualization. That’s your biggest tool here. Gotta put up a shield. Or, maybe distance yourself from whatever animal you got parts of.”

“Hedgehog,” Mahlua explained.

“Right,” the bus driver said, drawing out the word. From the rearview mirror, Mahlua could see his eyes narrow in apathy. “Regardless, you got about five minutes to get somethin goin. I know a good place to let’cha off. Just be careful who you get caught up with, okay, kiddo? Folks around here is dangerous.”

Five minutes was a pretty short time to figure out an entire new method of magic, even for a seasoned witch. Mahlua closed her eyes and exhaled. She let the world around her fade as she focused on herself and brought her most human attributes to the forefront. Little bumps in the road made things difficult, but after a couple of attempts, Mahlua felt her ears and tail start to recede. She could cross willful shapeshifting off her magic bucket list. In perfect time, too. The city crept up from the horizon, neon lights glittering just past a bridge over the sea.

The bus driver glanced up to the rearview mirror. “There ya go. Now, about magic,” he said, careful with the sharp turn onto the bridge, “Pretty simple stuff. Basically just don’t be obvious. Keep gesture and verbal magic to emergency basis. Oh, and don’t graffiti sigils. Cops hate that.”

That’s oddly specific advice, Mahlua thought to herself. Must be a common problem… She didn’t have time to think on it for too much longer.

“I’m lettin you off at the next stop,” the bus driver said. He eyed the yellow stoplight on the other side of the bridge and slowed down. “Keep going straight for two blocks, then take a right. There’ll be an alleyway with a little sign for a place called the Crow’s Murder. Hop in there. Tell ‘em you’re new in town and that Noel sent’cha. They’ll do ya fair.”

“All right,” Mahlua said, stretching to test her body, now that it was back to normal.

The bus screeched to a stop at another bus station, this one made of metal beams and fiberglass, again littered with graffiti. As she thought, there were a few sigils among the names. “Thank you, sir,” she nodded to the bus driver and hopped down to the sidewalk.

“Humph. Don’t thank me yet,” he said. He tipped his hat and closed the bus doors, then went on his way.

With that ominous statement hanging in the air, Mahlua took to the instructions she’d been given. After the first block, more people appeared to be walking around the city. In a shop window, she caught the time. Quarter till nine. It was a good thing the bus driver called it a little sign, otherwise Mahlua would have missed the entrance to the Crow’s Murder. As she approached the rusty green metal doors, a deep bass reverberated in the alley. Her hand went for the handle, but the door slid open, revealing a hairy, shirtless man with shaggy brown hair and dark circles under his eyes.

“Who’re you?” he asked.

“Oh, um,” Mahlua gulped. “I’m new here. A guy called Noel told me to come here.”

“Noel, huh? Jeez, that guy ain’t doin us any favors for keepin it quiet,” the man growled, kicking at the ground with untied boots. “What’chu got goin on?”

“Huh?” Mahlua asked.

“This ain’t just any place, y’know. It’s kind of a safe haven for non-humans,” he explained. “So, what’chu got goin on?” he repeated.

“Well, I’m a witch, firstly and foremostly,” Mahlua said.

“A witch?” the man groaned, ruffling his bangs. “You ain’t part of no coven are ya?”

“N-no,” Mahlua replied. Her eyebrows knitted together in concern. She couldn’t tell if this guy was angry at her, Noel, or something else. But he was certainly angry about something.

“Good. They’re like gangs around these parts. Big fat nuisance. Anything else I should know about?”

“Well, I’m also a kemonomimi,” she said, “And, uh,” she gestured to the weapons at her hips.

He cocked an eyebrow. “Anything in that backpack?”

“A few magic items, and some camping supplies,” she said.

“All right. As long as it ain’t nothin drug-like or outside food ‘n drink,” he said, stepping aside. He thrust his calloused hand out. “The name’s Darren.”

“They call me Mahlua,” she said, taking his hand. Upon physical contact with him, she felt something shift, and his eyes flashed gold. Startled, she pulled her hand back.

Darren made a face like a soggy, rancid shoe had been shoved under his nose. “Always nosy, you witches. It’s like you guys got to know everything,” he muttered.

“Sorry,” Mahlua said, “I wasn’t even trying to do anything.”

“Might want another layer of shields before goin in then,” Darren said with a shrug. He stepped inside and held the door open for her. From inside, haunting synth music throbbed at an industrial beat. Mahlua got the feeling she was going to like this place.
"It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure."--Marquis de Sade
But yes hello I am the freakier freak than you.

Offline Last

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Re: Ecchiverse: Reset
« Reply #94 on: December 28, 2018, 12:16:47 PM »
Ah, seems I need to catch up. Probably get to it tonight once I'm back in my own place. Looking forward to it!

Offline Last

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Re: Ecchiverse: Reset
« Reply #95 on: December 29, 2018, 01:15:31 AM »
Chapter 17/18:

There's got to be some collective unconsciousness department just for writing birds speaking. Because that is exactly what I imagine a raven would sound like if it spoke English.

Honestly this is probably the best chapter in all of reset so far. Once you were actually in the trance, the magical nature of the thing flowed much more naturally than in previous chapters. Maybe just being able to describe it visually and physically is the puzzle piece that was missing.

I look forward to catching up on the rest, and to finally escape this level. No offense of course.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2018, 11:44:30 PM by Last »

Offline Last

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Re: Ecchiverse: Reset
« Reply #96 on: December 30, 2018, 12:09:08 AM »
Chapter 19/20:

It is like a breath of fresh air to get onto something new. Probably has more to do with the hiatus of course. Grand scheme we really didn't spend all that long there.

And oh my, I'm picking up on the distinct flavor of R+V. A mysterious bus ride into a city of monsters pretending to be humans. That sounds about right.

With the pretext out of the way, please for the love of God give us some good monsters. None of this Monster Musume, "they're mostly just sexy girls", crap. Give us the real shit. No cowards here.


Chapters aside, it's occurring to me that this tower must cater itself to whoever is passing through it. I mean, maybe I'm getting too meta with it, but if the point is to test your ecchi mettle so to speak, it wouldn't make sense for it to be all magic. Makes sense for you, sure, but that's about it as far as the dramatis personae goes. I mean, ecchi isn't innately magical (at least, not in the sense you use the word). And well, the thing would have to come back to Hasith eventually, and the man doesn't have a magical bone in his body. He's about as tech based as it gets. So it only makes sense for it to be a fluid experience.

So yeah, that's my theory on it.
« Last Edit: December 30, 2018, 12:22:32 AM by Last »

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Ecchiverse: Reset
« Reply #97 on: March 03, 2019, 07:36:08 PM »
That's a good theory. I was kinda thinking something like that, yeah. I'm glad that it's starting to make sense. And yes, I was planning for some real monster goodness. They aren't all girls, either.

I think of it as being programmed something like an RPG, in that the choices you make early on are recorded in the data and used to produce aspects of the next levels to make it so immersive that you can risk losing yourself. That would answer that lingering question of what would happen if a passer-through failed: they just kinda get stuck in a false reality.
"It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure."--Marquis de Sade
But yes hello I am the freakier freak than you.

Offline Last

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Re: Ecchiverse: Reset
« Reply #98 on: March 06, 2019, 11:00:32 PM »
Oh my, I hope someone comes by and pulls them out on occasion. Like cleaning out the lint trap.

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Ecchiverse: Reset (Chapter 21)
« Reply #99 on: March 13, 2019, 08:58:26 PM »
My, my, it has certainly been a while. And here I have something that might make the wait almost worthwhile. I believe this is now the longest chapter of Reset at nearly 3,400 words. Just what stupid nonsense has Mahlua gotten herself wrapped up in now? Muahahahaha.

Chapter 21
Which I am tempted to subtitle "Mindless Self Indulgence"
Darren had a point about putting up another shield. Just past the music, a huge burst of supernatural energy charged the air. It was clear that the people inside were more than they seemed, and that their defenses were next to nonexistent. Mahlua would also have to be careful of the music; its rhythm might send her into a trance if she didn’t keep an eye on herself.

Dim red and purple lights hung over the bar, while flashy cyan and magenta strobe lights illuminated the dance floor. As Mahlua took a seat on one of the cracked leather barstools and observed the dancers, she noticed more than a few styles she was familiar with.

“Oh, a newbie,” an androgynous voice cooed with delight. The bartender leaned over the counter and flashed a smile as dangerous as their red eyes. “First timers get one shooter on the house for dropping in. Can I get you something, sweetie?”

“Uh,” Mahlua stumbled. She had a difficult time focusing on drinks when the bartender sported nothing but scant PVC and fishnets. “A Starry Night should be fine.”

The bartender snapped elegant fingers and winked. “You got it, fam,” they said. Mahlua couldn’t tell if the way the bartender’s hips turned as they walked was intentional or not. Long black hair swayed behind them, matching their sculpted and pristine fingernails and what little clothing there was. Closer inspection revealed a slight point to their ears, and the longer Mahlua stared, the more she became convinced that the bartender was one of the most shielded people in the room. With good reason, she figured. Even with their defenses, a sickly sweet aura oozed off them.

A sharp clack of glass on wood snapped Mahlua back to the present. “Here you go, sweetheart,” the bartender said.

“Thanks,” Mahlua grumbled, reaching for the small glass. Her fingers brushed against the bartender’s, and her gut suffered a horrible stabbing feeling. With a devilish smile, the bartender drew back.

“Let me know if I can get you anything else tonight,” they said. They dropped their voice to a whisper. It shouldn’t have been audible over the music, but it sounded so close Mahlua could almost feel the breath on her ear. “Anything at all.”

The raider shivered and looked at the glass. She saw every wrinkle of concern etched into her reflection. She was hot under the collar, and she hadn’t even drunk her liquor yet. She remedied that by throwing her head back and letting the blend of two simple alcohols light a fire in her stomach.

It took a few minutes for the witch to adjust to the harsh, throbbing ambience. After the music washed away her initial social anxiety, Mahlua found herself grounded and centered with astounding clarity. She rose from her seat and stretched. If she had any way of knowing that what little cash she carried on her would work in this world, she would have bought another drink, but rather than risk making a fool of herself, she made her way to the dancefloor. The DJ had a perfect groove going, and Mahlua had been starved for a good dance. Moves came naturally in the buildups and drops. Industrial, shuffle, jumpshuffle, jumpstyle, and a little bit of breakdance wreaked brutal havoc on her body, and Mahlua would’ve continued to push, if not for a solid tap on her shoulder. Mahlua turned to face whoever had touched her. The woman behind her waved with a wink and repeated her last dance phrase, and then continued in the style, finishing out the melody of the chorus. As the music lulled into another verse, the woman shouted. “You new?”

“Yeah,” Mahlua hollered.

The woman laughed. “You’re an interesting one. C’mon,” she shouted back, gesturing with her thumb to a side door. “Hard to talk here,” she added.

Mahlua nodded and followed her, despite the challenges the flashing lights and heartbeats of darkness posed. Once outside, her ears rang in the newfound quiet. She blinked a few times to clear the spots burned into her vision. It made it easier to examine the woman who brought her to the side alley.

“The name’s Zal,” she said, fishing in the pocket of her leather jacket. She sported a fashionable maroon overbust corset under the jacket, along with a plaid miniskirt, striped stockings, buckled platform boots, and a simple choker. From her pocket, she pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. With her free hand, she flipped her long blonde bangs out of her face to bring one of the carcinogens to her red painted lips.

As Zal lit her cigarette, Mahlua replied, “Mine’s Mahlua. Nice to meet you.”

Zal released a cloud of smoke from her lungs. “So, Mahlua, who told you about our little club?” Behind the bangs that still hid almost half the woman’s face, the witch could feel her emerald green eyes scrutinizing her.

“When I first showed up to the city, a guy called Noel recommended the place to me,” Mahlua explained, trying hard not to gulp or shiver under the woman’s intense gaze. She reminded herself that she had done nothing wrong…yet. Probably, anyway.

At the mention of the bus driver, Zal’s shoulders relaxed. “Noel, huh?” she said. She took another pensive drag of her cigarette and held the smoke before releasing a much thinner cloud. “I can never tell what that guy’s thinking,” she said, more to herself. Her gaze shifted to the tips of her boots. Ashes crackled and dripped from her ember. “What’s a girl like you doing in a city like this, anyway?”

“I’m not really sure myself,” Mahlua answered. “For the past week or so, I’ve been drifting around from place to place, and that’s landed me here.” As someone once said, honesty is the best policy.

“Not all who wander are lost,” Zal countered, leaning against the wall. “Is there a purpose behind your drifting?”

Mahlua paused for a moment to consider the best explanation. “You could say I’m on a mission to prove something to these two powerful friends of mine. I don’t really know what they want from me, but if I somehow amuse them enough or whatever, they’ve promised a reward I can’t resist.”

“Ah,” Zal drawled. “You must be one of the Ecchi Twins’ contestants.”

“Contestants?” Mahlua prodded.

“Yeah. How are they doing, anyway?” Zal asked.

“What?” Mahlua blinked. She swore that each level of the Tower became stranger and stranger with how they related to the outside world.

“I see. They’re still not the greatest and explaining themselves,” Zal said. She shook her head. “Well, the long and short is that they had far bigger plans for EcchiWorld than they were able to accomplish, so a lot of the smaller ideas got turned into AI and put in the Tower for safe keeping in the hopes that one day they’d be able to unlock their full potential.”

“And do all of the Tower’s inhabitants, on all the levels, just walk around with this knowledge in their everyday life? Or just the ones set up to meet the contestant?” Mahlua asked, blank-faced.

“Pretty much the first,” Zal shrugged.

Mahlua let out a heavy sigh and rested her weight on the wall beside Zal. Zal shifted and extended her box of cigarettes. “You look like you could use one of these,” she said.

“You know what? Why not,” Mahlua said as she took the box. She flipped the lid and discovered two of the remaining cigarettes were flipped tobacco side up. The witch took one of the other cigarettes and held it to her lips. “I think I’ve heard of an old saying, something like ‘One for good luck, two for a good suck’,” Mahlua said, handing the box back over.

“Yeah, ‘and three for a good f*ck’. Same principle. Probably means something a little different to me than it does to you, though,” Zal nodded. She passed over the lighter. As Mahlua grabbed it, her gut once again suffered a stabbing sensation.

Mahlua rolled her eyes to shake the feeling and fortified her shields as she brought the flame to the end of her cigarette. “Let me guess, vampire?” She asked, letting the smoke tickle her lungs. The immediate rush of nicotine altered her brain, albeit not quite enough to knock her off balance. “Damn, these are strong…”

Zal feigned disappointment. “Aww, what gave it away?” she pouted. At Mahlua’s reaction to the smoke, she let out a small chuckle. “Well, when you’re undead, you need a helluva lot more of any drug to actually affect you.”

“Makes sense,” Mahlua said. It probably made the most amount of sense out of everything she had experienced in this level so far.

“That said, you wouldn’t be willing to help me out with that, by any chance?” Zal asked.

The implication caused Mahlua to choke on her next drag, earning a giggle from her new vampire friend.

“Sorry, I’ve been a little lacking on money lately, and normally I’d just buy the blood that’s about to expire or separate from the local hospital, but even that’s getting pricey lately. Well, with my appetites, anyway,” Zal explained. Her smile said she was being playful and joking around. Her green eyes, though—they betrayed the real intensity. “Besides, even if it goes against certain regulations, a good bloodwhore is still the best, most fulfilling experience.”

It was difficult to hide the tremor in her hand as Mahlua took another drag. The nicotine clogged her brain for sure, but even through it, she made the connection between the stab in the gut she experienced mere moments ago and the one earlier from the bartender. It wasn’t just shield breaking. It was pure survival instinct and adrenaline trying to tell her that she was in actual, possibly life-threatening danger.

“Hey, you don’t have to be so afraid. If you say no, that’ll be the end of it. I can’t afford an assault charge on my record, in any case.” Zal’s voice sounded much softer.

“What exactly would I gain out of the exchange?”

Zal’s eyes widened in shock, but then her whole expression became calm and controlled. “You really are a spunky kid. Like I said, I don’t have much in terms of money, but I’m willing to offer up a place to stay tonight. Especially since I have stuff at home to take care of vampire bites and all their possible side effects.”

“Sounds like I don’t really have anything to lose, then,” Mahlua said. A sick thrill shot through her veins. Her survival instincts launched one final coup d’etat, screaming at her to run. They failed the instant Zal approached. Amidst the nicotine high, smell of tobacco, Zal’s iridescent emerald eyes, and Mahlua’s high-key fangbanger status, the vampire didn’t have to put her hands on the crusty wall behind the witch to cage her in, but it certainly heightened the experience.

“You’re a real sweetheart,” Zal cooed, nuzzling her cold nose against Mahlua’s jaw. A blush threatened to creep up, and Mahlua became acutely aware of her racing heartbeat. Zal must have noticed too, because she traced down a neck vein with her lips and followed the pulse to the subclavian artery.

Dull pain became white fire as Zal’s fangs penetrated flesh. Mahlua cried out a ragged sound somewhere between a scream and a moan. Zal leaned in and angled herself, which caused Mahlua to fear that those fangs were about to tear her shoulder off. After the initial bite, though, the pain subsided and the adrenaline and endorphins mixed with the nicotine for a high unlike anything Mahlua had ever experienced. She figured there had to be some sort of vampire endorphins also working on her, but it was only the vague construct of a thought. Words and other such trivialities failed to reach her. It was nothing short of a dream come true for the witch, and so she soaked up the feeling with all she could muster. She stayed that way until a faint tingle from her fingertips registered a chilling thought. Right, blood loss wasn’t actually good for you.

“Hey, uh, Zal,” Mahlua said, voice rough and groggy.

Against her neck, Zal gave an inquisitive hum.

“Fingertips…” Mahlua struggled to enunciate.

The vampire grunted in acknowledgement and pulled away. Zal was breathing heavily, and a thin trail of blood trickled down her smeared lipstick. Her eyes looked both more blank than before, and yet, even more saturated. If Mahlua wasn’t mistaken, there was a blush above her choker and under the thick eyeliner.

“Good thing you knew to look for that,” Zal huffed. She swallowed thickly, and then pushed away from the wall to stand upright. “I completely forgot. Too used to bloodwhores.” Without bothering to wipe the blood from her chin, she brought the last bit of her cigarette to her lips. “You could’ve warned me that you were part witch, you know.” She fished in her pockets and pulled out a small box of square bandages, just the right size for the bite.

Mahlua took the box with a nod of thanks. “Sorry, I didn’t know what would and wouldn’t make a difference.”

Zal gave a half-smile of amusement. “Sorry? Don’t be. Sure some vampires can’t stand it, but I’m what you might call an epicurean connoisseur. I’ve tried blood samples from all sorts of people and monsters alike. Witch blood is generally hard to come by on account of how sacred blood is to them.”

“Fair enough,” Mahlua said. She went to take another drag of her cigarette, but as she tried to stand, the weakness in her knees made her decide against it. “Can you tell what all else is in me, aside from witch?”

“You’re an interesting mutt for sure,” Zal said, then squinted, as if glaring at her own statement. “Pardon, do you prefer the term chimera? ‘Mutt’ is kind of a slur.”

“I’ve never really thought about it. I’ve always just kind of been me. Then again, even witches are rare where I’m from, so most people just call me that.”

“I see.” Zal hummed. “Considering that you mostly tasted like an energy drink, I’m guessing you’re first and foremost and electric elemental. The amount of lymphatic bits and the like leads me to believe there’s also some part of you that is almost wholly animal.”

“Right on both accounts,” Mahlua said. She carefully took one of the bandages and applied it to her neck, making sure to cover the whole bite. Even Zal’s front teeth penetrated skin a bit. “The animal bit must be new. I recently acquired harinezumimi status.” That probably explained the heightened fear response, now that she thought about it. “But what about it tells you about the witch bit?”

“Witch blood doesn’t really make itself known through taste, texture, or other chemical properties. Plain and simple, there’s magic in it. The kind of magic depends on the witch. Basically, if a vampire drinks witch blood, that vampire can perform that witch’s magic for as long as that witch’s blood is in their system,” Zal explained. “That’s most of the reason why witches can’t legally be bloodwhores.”

“So, wait, was this an illegal exchange?” Mahlua asked, eyes wide in horror.

“Not if nobody finds out about it,” Zal said, putting a finger to her lips and giving a little wink.

“And how exactly is no one going to find out about this,” Mahlua asked, aggressively pointing to the obvious bandage on her neck.

“That’s pretty easy. You stay with me until it heals, and I don’t use any of your magic while your blood is in me. Although…” Zal flicked the last of her cigarette away and rested her hands on her hips. “…My boyfriend might be a bit of a wrench in that plan.”

She should have seen it coming, but Mahlua’s heart sank. “Do you live with him?” she asked.

“Yeah. I’ve taken bloodwhores home before, but that’s almost never ended without at least a little fuss. He’s been better about it lately, but I can tell it bothers him.”

“And why’s that?” Mahlua couldn’t stop herself from asking.

“I think he just gets jealous that I take care of them. Then again, he should’ve known better than to get with me if he wants to be possessive. Like I said, epicurean connoisseur here.”

With that, Mahlua’s heart rose back up higher than it was before. She may have only just met Zal, but when she considered the mere possibility that hung on to the end of that statement, it produced all kinds of images in her mind. Mahlua had to remove herself from her thoughts for a moment and recenter, then look at the woman in front of her as if for the first time. Somehow it was even more awe-inspiring now. Long blonde hair, leather jacket, corset—the whole look just screamed her type. And lest she forget the vampire bit.

“You seem a little dazed. You sure I didn’t take too much out of you?” Zal asked, eyebrows knitting together in concern.

“Huh?” Mahlua was predictably thrown by the innuendo her brain made out of the ‘taking a lot out of you’ statement. “Oh, yeah. I’m just a little…amazed, is all. I’ve always been curious what a vampire bite was like, so, yeah. It’s…It’s a lot.”

Zal made a face that screamed I-don’t-believe-that-for-one-second. “Maaaaybe I should go ahead and take you home. You might be having an adverse reaction to the bite.”

“I don’t think there’s anything adverse about this reaction,” Mahlua quipped.

Zal blinked a couple of times, and then facepalmed. “Oh. One of those reactions. How is it that it’s allegedly a 15% of the population thing and yet I always seem to find you people?”

Two and two were starting to make four in Mahlua’s head. “Uh, what do you mean by ‘one of those reactions’?”

The vampire shook her head and started walking down the alley, making a gesture for Mahlua to follow. “Let’s see if I understand how this went. We met on the dancefloor and then went outside. I was skeptical of you, you were a bit confused by me, and conversation led to the bite, and now I’m guessing your mind has taken up residence in the gutter.”

Mahlua had to take long strides to keep up with her. “Well, yeah, but, I mean, my mind is pretty much always in the gutter. Like, this isn’t unusual for me.”

“But was it in the gutter on the dancefloor?”

“Well, no, but I was kind of more focused on dancing and the music at the time.” Mahlua paused. “And give yourself a little credit here. You are attractive. Bite or not, I’d still probably consider some things.”

They turned a corner that led them back to bright city lights and an empty street. How long had she been in the club and then out in the alley, Mahlua wondered. Zal lowered her voice in case of any passersby.

“What has me most stuck on the bite is the sound you made. I understand that many people have a sort of ‘vampire fetish’ and always wonder about what it’d be like to be bitten, but I assure you, even most of them experience nothing but excruciating pain and the general grossness that is like donating blood through a needle,” Zal explained.

“So that’s where the 15% thing you mentioned earlier comes in?” Mahlua deduced.

“Yup. With or without that ‘fetish’, there are some people whose physiology reacts with the natural antibodies we vampires produce when we bite. There’s debate on whether or not vampires developed those antibodies as an evolutionary trait to keep their prey hostage for extended periods of time, but that’s neither here nor there,” Zal continued.

Mahlua opened her mouth to speak, but Zal punctuated her statement with something that shattered the witch’s logical communication functions. “Don’t worry about it. Like I said, I have stuff at home to take care of all possible side effects.”

Mahlua remained silent for the rest of the trip back to Zal’s apartment, although it took some self-restraint to not make some sort of comment about not minding the hostage idea in the slightest.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2019, 09:34:40 PM by MahluaandMilk »
"It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure."--Marquis de Sade
But yes hello I am the freakier freak than you.

Offline rubixmaestro

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Re: Ecchiverse: Reset
« Reply #100 on: March 20, 2019, 06:57:50 AM »
Ch 20

Spoiler
1. A bite of cold cut through the bus stop in the night breeze. Mahlua tucked her hands between her legs for warmth as she looked down the road. She wondered if a bus would even come by this late, or if this route was even still active.
- Random not important question due to her battle prowess I'm not sure but Mahlua can feel cold?

2. It squeaked to a halt at the stop and the doors open.
- I mean I know what you mean but is sqeak the right word for how busses come to a stop? Squeak always feels like a short noise rather than that 'iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii' sound that comes from busses. Come to think of it why the hell does that happen? Is it the brakes?

3. “Out on a night hike?” the bus driver asked. He was a big man with long, fluffy blonde hair and cool grey eyes.
- Anime bus driver is anime

4."Right,” the bus driver said, drawing out the word. From the rearview mirror, Mahlua could see his eyes narrow in apathy. “Regardless, you got about five minutes to get somethin goin. I know a good place to let’cha off. Just be careful who you get caught up with, okay, kiddo? Folks around here is dangerous.”
- Nice slang

5. Five minutes was a pretty short time to figure out an entire new method of magic, even for a seasoned witch. Mahlua closed her eyes and exhaled. She let the world around her fade as she focused on herself and brought her most human attributes to the forefront. Little bumps in the road made things difficult, but after a couple of attempts, Mahlua felt her ears and tail start to recede.
- I wonder who taught Mahlua magic. Never really got a backstory for that.

6. The city crept up from the horizon, neon lights glittering just past a bridge over the sea.
- I like this sentence quite a bit. It reminds me of a lot of scenes I've seen in anime where the character comes up upon a city at night while sitting in a car or riding a motorbike. This really captures that in few words.

7. Oh, and don’t graffiti sigils. Cops hate that.”
- But Graffiti is AWESOME

8. “Humph. Don’t thank me yet,” he said. He tipped his hat and closed the bus doors, then went on his way.
- Dun dun DUUUN

9. “A witch?” the man groaned, ruffling his bangs. “You ain’t part of no coven are ya?”
- Haha what would be wrong with being part of a coven?

10. “Good. They’re like gangs around these parts. Big fat nuisance. Anything else I should know about?”
- Ah, now I know.

11. “All right. As long as it ain’t nothin drug-like or outside food ‘n drink,” he said, stepping aside. He thrust his calloused hand out. “The name’s Darren.”
- Eh? No drugs at a party place? Interesting.

12. Darren made a face like a soggy, rancid shoe had been shoved under his nose. “Always nosy, you witches. It’s like you guys got to know everything,” he muttered.
“Sorry,” Mahlua said, “I wasn’t even trying to do anything.”
- Hm, what happened there? She tried to read him by accident and he defended against it?

13.
“Might want another layer of shields before goin in then,” Darren said with a shrug. He stepped inside and held the door open for her. From inside, haunting synth music throbbed at an industrial beat. Mahlua got the feeling she was going to like this place.

- God I haven't listened to industrial in too long


Ch 21
Spoiler
1. Mahlua would also have to be careful of the music; its rhythm might send her into a trance if she didn’t keep an eye on herself.
- Hm, it read weird for some reason? I think it's the word 'might' sounding like present tense in this. I'd add 'have' but sentence might still feel clunky.

2. Dim red and purple lights hung over the bar, while flashy cyan and magenta strobe lights illuminated the dance floor.
- I love such dance floors. I've had the greatest of times in them.

3.  As Mahlua took a seat on one of the cracked leather barstools and observed the dancers, she noticed more than a few styles she was familiar with.
- I still haven't learnt to dance properly to such styles.

4.“Uh,” Mahlua stumbled. She had a difficult time focusing on drinks when the bartender sported nothing but scant PVC and fishnets. “A Starry Night should be fine.”
- Dat outfit

5. Even with their defenses, a sickly sweet aura oozed off them.
- Wait is sickly sweet good or bad?  Makes me think of overripe fruit for some reason.

6. A sharp clack of glass on wood snapped Mahlua back to the present. “Here you go, sweetheart,” the bartender said.
- Like in chapter 20 this is a very nicely descriptive sentence of things that I never quite have the words for but happen. Nice. I'm stealing this.

7. “Thanks,” Mahlua grumbled, reaching for the small glass. Her fingers brushed against the bartender’s, and her gut suffered a horrible stabbing feeling. With a devilish smile, the bartender drew back.
- Haha. Mahlua shy? Or were those the bartenders' defenses.

8. “Let me know if I can get you anything else tonight,” they said. They dropped their voice to a whisper. It shouldn’t have been audible over the music, but it sounded so close Mahlua could almost feel the breath on her ear. “Anything at all.”
* nosebleed

9. The DJ had a perfect groove going, and Mahlua had been starved for a good dance. Moves came naturally in the buildups and drops. Industrial, shuffle, jumpshuffle, jumpstyle, and a little bit of breakdance wreaked brutal havoc on her body, and Mahlua would’ve continued to push, if not for a solid tap on her shoulder.
- I used to think I knew what dancing till you dropped meant until I met the industrial scene. Jesus people bring water bottles because they know they'll get dehydrated. And they don't stop. It's awesome. I'll note down these dance terms for future research.

10. “Yeah,” Mahlua hollered.
- Haha. Welcome to clubs.

11. “The name’s Zal,” she said, fishing in the pocket of her leather jacket. She sported a fashionable maroon overbust corset under the jacket, along with a plaid miniskirt, striped stockings, buckled platform boots, and a simple choker. From her pocket, she pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. With her free hand, she flipped her long blonde bangs out of her face to bring one of the carcinogens to her red painted lips.
- Okay I like Zal quite a bit. Trifector of sexy: Awesome outfit, long hair bang flip and cigarettes. When I meet people like this I become a puddle.

12. Zal released a cloud of smoke from her lungs. “So, Mahlua, who told you about our little club?”
- This line didn't quite work as well to describe puffing smoke. Also, she seemed to slow down from the 'names Zal' vibe I got. Not sure what's wrong with it per se but it felt at odds with her cool introduction.

13. “When I first showed up to the city, a guy called Noel recommended the place to me,” Mahlua explained, trying hard not to gulp or shiver under the woman’s intense gaze. She reminded herself that she had done nothing wrong…yet. Probably, anyway.
- Timid Mahlua is timid.

14. At the mention of the bus driver, Zal’s shoulders relaxed. “Noel, huh?” she said. She took another pensive drag of her cigarette and held the smoke before releasing a much thinner cloud.
- This worked much, much better in describing her coolness and smoking.

15. Mahlua paused for a moment to consider the best explanation. “You could say I’m on a mission to prove something to these two powerful friends of mine. I don’t really know what they want from me, but if I somehow amuse them enough or whatever, they’ve promised a reward I can’t resist.”
- Haha to explain Mahlua's entire quest to people would be hilarious.

16. “Ah,” Zal drawled. “You must be one of the Ecchi Twins’ contestants.”
- Wait Zal knows the Ecchi twins?!

17. “I see. They’re still not the greatest and explaining themselves,” Zal said. She shook her head. “Well, the long and short is that they had far bigger plans for EcchiWorld than they were able to accomplish, so a lot of the smaller ideas got turned into AI and put in the Tower for safe keeping in the hopes that one day they’d be able to unlock their full potential.”
- Ecchiworld is very low key but has a huuuge amount of potential. It's almost as long lived as MR and the faithful amounts of visits there is ridiculous. On a meta level, if you have any 'big plans' I'm looking forward to seeing them. It's the members that make a forum work.

18. “You know what? Why not,” Mahlua said as she took the box.
- No Mahlua dooon't! But yessss the coolness. But nooooo.

19. She flipped the lid and discovered two of the remaining cigarettes were flipped tobacco side up. The witch took one of the other cigarettes and held it to her lips. “I think I’ve heard of an old saying, something like ‘One for good luck, two for a good suck’,” Mahlua said, handing the box back over.
- Hahaha that line.

20. Zal feigned disappointment. “Aww, what gave it away?” she pouted. At Mahlua’s reaction to the smoke, she let out a small chuckle. “Well, when you’re undead, you need a helluva lot more of any drug to actually affect you.”
- DUN DUN DUN. Cool twist haha. My eyes widened at this.

21. “Makes sense,” Mahlua said. It probably made the most amount of sense out of everything she had experienced in this level so far.
- Aaaand she's taking that revelation well.

22. “Besides, even if it goes against certain regulations, a good bloodwhore is still the best, most fulfilling experience.”
- Wow.

23. “Hey, you don’t have to be so afraid. If you say no, that’ll be the end of it. I can’t afford an assault charge on my record, in any case.” Zal’s voice sounded much softer.
- Woowwwww.

24. Especially since I have stuff at home to take care of vampire bites and all their possible side effects.”
- Wowwwwwwww.

25. Dull pain became white fire as Zal’s fangs penetrated flesh. Mahlua cried out a ragged sound somewhere between a scream and a moan. Zal leaned in and angled herself, which caused Mahlua to fear that those fangs were about to tear her shoulder off. After the initial bite, though, the pain subsided and the adrenaline and endorphins mixed with the nicotine for a high unlike anything Mahlua had ever experienced. She figured there had to be some sort of vampire endorphins also working on her, but it was only the vague construct of a thought. Words and other such trivialities failed to reach her. It was nothing short of a dream come true for the witch, and so she soaked up the feeling with all she could muster. She stayed that way until a faint tingle from her fingertips registered a chilling thought. Right, blood loss wasn’t actually good for you.
- I am not a vampire ecchi person or anything, but this paragraphy was legit stuff Mahlua. Great writing here.

26. She fished in her pockets and pulled out a small box of square bandages, just the right size for the bite.
- I see Zal really knows her stuff. Interesting, I've seen thousands of vamps intergrating with society in thousands of stories. I mean True Blood is a great example of it becoming 'the norm'. But I've never seen them carrying kits and the like to deal with the whole bloodsucking thing. Cool concept.

27. Mahlua remained silent for the rest of the trip back to Zal’s apartment, although it took some self-restraint to not make some sort of comment about not minding the hostage idea in the slightest.
- People want what people want


Glad to see you plugging away at the chapters. Solid scene placement and really interesting introspective in Mahlua's character and journey. Also some gold writing moments I'm definitely stealing from. Also Zal is hot.
real life has sexy graphics

Offline Last

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Re: Ecchiverse: Reset
« Reply #101 on: May 01, 2019, 10:32:54 PM »
Hm, Zal reminds me of a girl I knew in middle school who couldn't quite decide where she stood between the grunge and emo scenes.

Pretty solid chapter! Although it did feel like Zal was giving exposition just for exposition's sake at some points. The thing with the Twins, while interesting to learn about, does feel a little crammed in there amongst all the vampire stuff. I got a similar feeling to that last couple of paragraphs with the anit bodies and the 15% stuff. Cool, but it felt like we could have taken a breather first. Maybe even amp up the mystery a little between chapters. I say that of course not knowing where you plan to take all of this. But I do find the idea of "person is being oddly affected by a vampire bite but they have no one to help them with the process" to be an interesting plot idea.

Still, everything serves to introduce us and ease us into the world a little more. The boyfriend being jealous of the bloodwhore thing feels very real. You know more of what you have planned for the character of course, but I can definitely see a guy feeling imasculated by the thought that he can't meet all of his partner's needs. Even if you take out the imasculation aspect, of course we all like to think that we can be the perfect partner, and if there's something your partner feels the need to go to other people for, it could definitely make you feel like you've failed them somehow.

Looking forward to the next one!


@Lego: Google "air brakes" if you want to learn about why buses make the "Iiiiiiiiii" noise.

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Ecchiverse: Reset
« Reply #102 on: May 06, 2019, 03:43:09 AM »
And off into the wild I disappear once more, lol.

For Rubix
Regarding Chapter 20
1. My friends jokingly call me a reptile because I'm almost always wearing two layers of clothes. Anything under 70 degrees Fahrenheit is chilly to me. Around 72-75 is where I can comfortably wear one layer. That is my happy place and it is not common where I live currently. So, despite my battle prowess...I'm almost always cold, lol. Another reason I match well with hedgehogs. Some of them fall into hibernation below 70 degrees.
2. Huh, got a point in that it sounds a little shorter. I'll consider that, if I ever go back and like, mega-edit this whole hunk of junk.
4. The dialect is loosely based on how people talk around where I'm from. Especially a noun that refers to a group with a singular verb.
5. I have thought about writing a fic about that actually. I know exactly who I would base the teacher on, too. The fic would be set right after HTR, when Mahlua kind of goes drifting for a bit.
12. Yeah, kind of an energetic read. She accidentally cut through his defenses.
13. Meanwhile I was listening to Pretty Little Hate Machine just a few hours ago...

for Rubix
Regarding chapter 21
1. Another amazing catch. The construction of "might send" is present tense. Shwoopsie.
5. Have you ever taken a bite of something that was so sweet you almost couldn't eat it? Like that. Me and Fruity Pebbles cereal. Just too sweet for me.
7. Totally the bartender's defenses. Think of the vine that goes "Try me, 8itch."
8. More on that later.
9. Oh yeah. I hate having emetophobia sometimes because I will literally dance so hard that I start to taste metal in the back of my throat--you know, like you might be about to puke? Then I'm out of commission for like half an hour while suppressing an anxiety attack. This has happened at like the last three dances I've gone to.
12. Hrrm...More things to consider in a far off distant idea of an idea to edit this later.
13. I mean... (waggles eyebrows)
18. A nod to my current struggle with the stuff again in real life.
22-end: The reason I wanted to title the chapter "Mindless Self Indulgence". I love me some vampires, as I'm sure we all well know by now. Or should, if you made it this far.


As for Coryn, oof, I hate that you're right. I'm trying to rush to actually finish this project since it's so huge and daunting. Doubly so because I seem to only be able to work on it in small bursts like that. I've told myself that I should just get the whole thing written so that it's out there and it's there and we're cool, and then I can worry about editing later. That way it actually gets written at all and I'm not so caught up in making the perfect product. We all know that perfect products don't exist. Right? I hope that doesn't just sound like a wimpy excuse...
"It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure."--Marquis de Sade
But yes hello I am the freakier freak than you.

Offline Last

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Re: Ecchiverse: Reset
« Reply #103 on: May 07, 2019, 10:37:25 PM »
Nah, I totally get it. I've expressed a similar view point about just getting something written and editing later (in fact I dare say you saw it in action during War Arc writing). The key is always to actually come back and do that writing though. It's perfectly fine from the writer's perspective to write first and edit later. But as a reader we don't want to have to experience the first draft, we want the draft you find is ready for the world.

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Ecchiverse: Reset
« Reply #104 on: May 07, 2019, 11:11:28 PM »
Hrmm...To put it more clearly, I think that posting a chapter once I've at least proofread it gives me a kind of accountability to keep going. Just knowing other eyes are on it gives me a little boost of motivation to actually finish so I can actually go back and fix the super gross parts. So, in a way, I owe you guys a big thank you for putting up with its shoddy second-draft ish state. Believe me, nobody wants to see my real first drafts. They're on paper and an awful mixture of scribbled print and cursive combination with doodles and annotations and arrows and good gods what a mess.

The need to finish posting all the chapters in some degree of readability is a big help for me. It keeps my brain coming back to the ideas behind the story. If I didn't feel like I'd be letting you guys down by dropping the project in the middle, then I probably would've...just dropped the project by now? (Whether or not you'd actually be disappointed is irrelevant to the fact that I view myself as responsible for it.)

So, I hope that the quality isn't too awful. It's possible to do for this what I did to my old Vocaloid fanfic ages ago. I got halfway through it, got fed up with the quality of the first few chapters, and then went back and rewrote it up to the point it had been and then completed it from there.

The irony that I would be resetting Reset is not lost on me.
"It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure."--Marquis de Sade
But yes hello I am the freakier freak than you.