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Author [EN] [PL] [ES] [PT] [IT] [DE] [FR] [NL] [TR] [SR] [AR] [RU] Topic: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI  (Read 17287 times)

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI
« Reply #15 on: June 10, 2017, 02:39:34 PM »
I'm not sure if my worst quality is my capacity for jealousy or self-loathing, or if it's my obsessive tendencies. Each one of those causes me a hell of a lot more trouble than I'd care to admit. Put all three together, you get me in romantic relationships, which requires a real steady hand for my partner to deal with a few explosions here and there. Lately it's been expanded to encompass my grief, which has its days where it all but cripples me emotionally. That I'm typically blunt and aggressively to the point doesn't help, since it makes when I lash out actually sting. Nothing is worse than wanting to be held, and then being held, and then the only reaction you can produce is a shove and a "Get the f--- away from me" because it's too much positivity and you can't bring yourself to believe that such a thing actually exists.
"It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure."--Marquis de Sade
But yes hello I am the freakier freak than you.

Offline Maniac

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Re: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI
« Reply #16 on: June 18, 2017, 08:48:47 AM »
What do you guys think about age think. I read an news article about 19 years old girl 15 years old who had sex. She was sued and put her name on sex offender list. Only for giving oral sex. Even after guy said he was willing ( i bet he did) and he insisted on doing it.

I wonder how many among the  judge, Police officers, child care officers there waited it 18 to have sex.

Offline It’s still me

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Re: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI
« Reply #17 on: June 18, 2017, 09:24:32 AM »
I hope I'm not killed for this. I personally think when the individual wants to have sex, they should. Of course that means they were not coerced. We don't have to worry about pregnancy or STIs anymore. Well, kind of. If society loses the emphasis it puts on sex, I think life would be much better. What the hell is statutory rape even for?

I waited until I was 18 because I was getting too old to lose my virginity. Society pressured me.  :P

Offline Last

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Re: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI
« Reply #18 on: June 18, 2017, 11:43:19 AM »
We need to worry about statutory rape because when you're a 15 year old kid you can't conceptualize what it means to have a mature sexual relationship. They aren't developed enough for it, despite what they themselves might think. So as soon as someone who is a fair bit older takes advantage of that, then it's a problem. And that's not even getting into the power imbalance of the situation caused by our society's emphasis on reaching full adulthood and the near hero worship displayed by young teenagers towards those older than them. The classic example is that guy you knew in highschool who had already graduated but still hung out with high schoolers. He seemed real cool at the time because he bought you cigarettes or whatever, but get a few years on and you suddenly realize he's just a sad creep.

Offline Maniac

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Re: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI
« Reply #19 on: June 18, 2017, 01:45:00 PM »
I dont think we can measure how mature they are by age. In Sweden age limit is I think 14. Thats one country there u  have very limit violence, sexual or otherwise. But its not same for many other countries.

Few centuries back people got married by 14 and had kids. Even become kings and went to battle. So then kids those days must have been.more mature then today.

But even today there are kids who are less than 10 years old but taking care of families by working or doing all domestic works. While in other countries where they wouldn't know how to make a sandwich.

Offline It’s still me

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Re: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI
« Reply #20 on: June 18, 2017, 02:06:52 PM »
It's the hang ups we have on sex that make it an issue. Since society views sex as necessary, up there with food, shelter, acceptance, what have you, sex should just be treated as what it is. A release.

Different times and cultures will obviously determine what is acceptable. There is no point arguing about it. But maybe don't be so judgmental when your children start doing it. Cough cough your daughter. Which brings me to an idealized position we put young girls in western society. Be pure until you are 18 and then be a totaly free sexually. Example, every girl who came from Disney. 
« Last Edit: June 18, 2017, 02:10:32 PM by Forlorn Serpent »

Offline Last

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Re: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI
« Reply #21 on: June 18, 2017, 02:56:18 PM »
Kids might have been made Kings at 14, or gone to the mines at 10, but that doesn't make it acceptable. We stopped doing it because we realized it was a horrible thing to do, not because kids magically became less mature. People have always been people after all. But then you have to consider that the longer one's childhood lasts, the more well adjusted they end up being in adulthood. It's the same for sex at a young age. Looking at psychology on the subject, we see that people who start having sex early get ****ed up. They don't develop a fully realized sense of sexual maturity. This is why Japan has an endemic problem with sexual exploitation of children. Yah got people who have this stuff normalized from.a very young age, getting older, and not moving past that original attraction.

Offline It’s still me

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Re: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI
« Reply #22 on: June 18, 2017, 03:05:33 PM »
This can be debated forever.

Studies are divided on this subject. Exposure can be good and bad. I put emphasis on society rather than the individual. The stigma is what harms the individual. the U.S is getting a lot of pent up energy on youth. Is there any correlation as to why "Teen" pornography is the #1 search genre for the U.S.? Are we shaking up a soda can?

What is a mature sexual relationship? Why is it important? Is society even supporting it? These are rhetorical questions. Choice has destroyed any reason to stay in a relationship. Young or old.

There is no point in discussing since it is unethical to actually create a study to see what has a statically significant effect.

But what we can alter is how we treat others. Especially our children to be independent, self-actualized  individuals.
« Last Edit: June 18, 2017, 03:49:17 PM by Forlorn Serpent »

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI
« Reply #23 on: June 19, 2017, 03:21:05 PM »
While yes, this can be debated forever, I will throw in my two dollars that because of how our society works, there is both a shaking of the can and a distinct lack of focus on emotional maturity, especially in teenagers. Hell, I'm twenty now and I still don't consider myself all that emotionally mature, and part of the problem is that I got way too involved in a twisted romantic relationship in which I was, in fact, taken advantage of in by an older woman. There is no way around what she did. Of course, I can't speak for everyone, but I can certainly say that at the very least in the US, society is not producing the maturity required to understand the emotional aftermath of the physical action of sex. Some people get attached, others just don't. It can happen either way. That can be a huge obstacle when you're young and don't know which you are or what you want.

The body will respond to stimuli. However, that doesn't mean you want it. You can get hot flashes, a hard on, wet, whatever, but if you say no, that should be it. Again, we find the problem, especially in teenagers, where they don't know whether or not they want it, and they face trauma later when they realize they f---ed up. That's not their fault. We aren't teaching them to communicate, and we sure as hell aren't teaching them that it's okay to not want sex sometimes.

That's why we say that teenagers aren't mentally capable enough to consent.

Now, as for my two cents: who the hell wants to put their dick in something that doesn't even know what it is on its own? Like, when have you actually met a self-actualized fifteen year old? Every fifteen year old I've met, my fifteen-year-old self included, were all just angry and conflicted and angry about being conflicted.
"It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure."--Marquis de Sade
But yes hello I am the freakier freak than you.

Offline Maniac

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Re: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI
« Reply #24 on: June 24, 2017, 01:01:56 AM »
Do you guys think there are friends with benifits relationships exist purely based on just friends having sex without any attachments or obligation ?  i have always dound one of them have feelings in this kinda relationships.

Offline It’s still me

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Re: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI
« Reply #25 on: June 24, 2017, 01:06:24 AM »
I think it is possible if you see each other bang other people. So you have it in your mind that they are and will be with other people.

I haven't read any studies in a while to give an informed opinion.

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI
« Reply #26 on: June 24, 2017, 01:15:09 AM »
Yes. FWB can exist without romantic attachment. It's not always the case and yes sometimes one has feelings, but that doesn't mean they don't exist.

But, as for Forlorn's statement...seeing them with others doesn't mean jack, because open relationships also exist. Harley knows that I have another partner now, and that doesn't change anything about our romance, even if the new party and I do develop a romance. That aside, their fiance knows about it too and doesn't mind even though he's not polyamorous, and neither is Harley.

Just like everything else, even heterosexual vanilla monogamous relationships, it all boils down to proper communication.
"It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure."--Marquis de Sade
But yes hello I am the freakier freak than you.

Offline It’s still me

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Re: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI
« Reply #27 on: June 24, 2017, 01:37:43 AM »
I just got logged out. There goes my points...


LGBTQA+ sex culture is different that straight. This is seen in average partner numbers. It's easier to be in open relationship if you are not straight.

Well since I lost everything, I'm bowing out of discussion. I only know human sexuality studies prior to Tinder.


Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI
« Reply #28 on: June 24, 2017, 01:40:48 AM »
I'd argue that there are more heterosexual polyamorous people than there are in the LGBT+ community, if only because I think the recent estimate is that we're only like 20% of the population?
"It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure."--Marquis de Sade
But yes hello I am the freakier freak than you.

Offline It’s still me

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Re: Chit Chat, 18+ Edition; Beware the TMI
« Reply #29 on: June 24, 2017, 02:02:24 AM »
I just went on message boards and jstor, Reddit, and various blogs. With the exception of the academic side, polyamorous advocates are so toxic. They atacked a pro blogger because they use one word wrong. I keep seeing they are in fight mode. Makes sense though since society views it as "wrong" but it's a culture shift that will occur no matter what.

From this one person I just read give their biased opinion on Reddit, most polyamorous individuals are women, bisexual, white, atheistic, and younger than 40.  Which can mean a lot if you look into ethnic/cultural politics.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2017, 02:03:59 AM by Forlorn Serpent »